Merry Christmas from the Family.....

Robert Earl Keene has said it all:

Ma got got drunk and Dad got drunk
at our Christmas Party.
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog.....

Little Sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican......
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang ''Feliz Navidad''........Feliz Navidad

Brother Kim brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynne
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA!
Chain smoking while the stereo plays:
''Noel Noel''.......the first noel

Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Cachagua Store
We need some icing and extension cords
A can of bean dip and some DietRite
A box of Tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Halleluiah, everybody say ''Cheese''!
Merry Christmas from The Family!

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our Christmas lights.
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang ''Silent Night''.....oh, Silent Night...
Oh..Holy Night....

Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on.
Make Bloody Marys.....cuz we all want one
Send somebody to the Cachagua Sto....
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite,
A box of Tampons and a pack of Salem Lights.....
Halleluiah everybody say ''Cheese''!
Merry Christmas from The Family!
Feliz Navidad.......